Where the fuck is fall?

Seriously. I'm having some major withdrawal. I need my seasons. I need my foliage. I need my lightweight jacket.

Sure, sure. There's dew on my car in the morning. And I saw a black cat yesterday, which made it feel like Halloween. But it wasn't prowling through the fallen leaves, and ducking behind pumpkins. It was trying to avoid the 85-degree sunshine, and keep from melting into the sidewalk.

Is this how it is down here? Huh, Tennessee? Is it always this hot in September? What say you, my native sons? Fess up, Lamar Alexander! Speak of the heat, Miley Cyrus! Tell me about the seasons, Al Gore! No wonder you're so concerned about global warming! It's fucking hot down here!

I'm just gonna pretend. I'm gonna buy a big ol' pumpkin this weekend and stick it outside my front door. Shelter for the black cat, and fodder for the seasonal lie I'm living in my head. Good enough.