We've run out of gas, America

Two days ago, I pulled into my local gas station to fill up, but the station was closed. No signs, no notice, just dirty plastic bags on the nozzles, and an ominous chain securing the front door. The station down the street - same thing. And the station around the block. This week, for no apparent reason, Nashville entered crisis mode, and ran out of gas.

We're not the only city in crisis mode, either. Just a few weeks ago, New Orleans flushed its population to higher ground in advance of a devastating storm. Houston and Galveston are still reeling from Hurricane Ike. Even Louisville, Kentucky, had to shut down its public school system this week.

And then there's New York City. Our modern-day Rome; the capital of Western Civilization. It's falling apart. Wall Street is a joke. Buildings are crumbling to the streets below. Taxi cabs are crashing into one another. And, maybe worst of all, the Yankees are going to miss the playoffs for the first time since 1993.

This nation is on the precipice of its own demise, and, Yankees jokes aside, big cities like New York are leading the way. Rather than being a country of industry and prosperity, we've become a country of crisis. Cities in turmoil, poverty in the countryside, abominable foreign policy, the laughable state of the dollar, freakishly violent weather that occurs with unsettling regularity... it seems that little is going right for the Unites States.

We're witnessing the fall of the American empire. As a country, we'd better get used to the idea that we're no longer the world's leading super power. We'd better stock up on humility. And, apparently, gas. We're gonna need it.